In the article, Leaders Must Touch the Heart , I quoted these words by John Maxwell, One of the most common mistakes people make is trying to lead others before developing relationships with them.  It happens all the time.  A new manager starts with a company and expects the people working there to respond to his authority without question…the leader expects to make an impact on his people before building the relationship.  It’s possible that the followers will comply with what the leader’s position requires, but they’ll never go beyond that.

To succeed in business, never take people for granted.  Zig Ziglar says, The reality is, regardless of what business we’re in, since it is fueled by people, we are all in the people business.

Having a Sportsfest is one way of developing relationships with people.

Develop relationships with the people you lead through:

1.  Genuine Courtesy. People are delicate and sensitive.   They want to feel important.  Greet your people with a smile and don’t forget the words please and thank you.

Even the little courtesies that we give to them are important.

2.  Respect. Be punctual because punctuality is respect for other people’s time.  Listening is one of the greatest expressions of respect.  Listen to what others are saying and respond only after he finishes his statements.

3.  Appreciation for them and for their point of view

People want to feel valued and cared about.  Appreciate them for their hard work and contribution to the success of any project.  Be specific in your appreciation.  Give praises for their point of view and suggestions for the success of the organization.  Give them small gifts occasionally, as a token of appreciation.

In the book, The Leadership Challenge, James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner say, Leadership is a relationship between those who aspire to lead and those who choose to follow.  It’s the quality of this relationship that matters most when we’re engaged in getting extraordinary things done.  A leader-constituent relationship that’s characterized by fear and distrust will never, ever produce anything of lasting value.  A relationship characterized by mutual respect and confidence will overcome the greatest adversities and leave a legacy of significance.

Public Allies, an AmeriCorps organization dedicated to creating young leaders who can strengthen their communities, sought the opinions of eighteen- to thirty-year-olds on the subject of leadership.  One of the questions was about the important qualities of a good leader.  Topping the respondents’ list is “Being able to see a situation from someone else’s point of view.”  In second place is “Getting along well with other people.”

I shall be very glad if you could leave your comments after reading this article.  I love to hear from you.

Your friend,

Nimia S. Acebes 

We look for a good leader to lead us into achieving our goals; to lead us into prosperity and greatness.  Whenever failures happen in a country or organization we oftentimes attribute it to poor leadership.

What are the qualities of a good leader?  A good leader is

People developer.

John Maxwell says, The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership. Most leaders are not successful on this because it takes a lot of hard work and patience.

People are the most important assets of an organization and developing them demands our time, attention and commitment.

A supervisor is briefing an employee on how the result shall look like.

Resilient.  The ability to bounce back when the problems arise.  Doug Dickerson  says that a resilient leader learns from every experience and never gives up in the face of adversity.

Organized.  The ability to organize time, paper and people so that potential productivity can be translated into a coherent program.

Stephanie Winston, in her book,  the Organized Executive says, Organizing is, quite simply, a learned skill – a set of methods and tools with which to arrange your time and workload to meet your goals.  

Understanding.  In his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey says, The more deeply you understand other people, the more you will appreciate them, the more reverent you will feel about them…When we really, deeply understand each other, we open the door to creative solutions and third alternatives.  Our differences are no longer stumbling blocks to communications and progress.  Instead, they become the stepping stones to synergy.

Disciplined.  The willingness to do what is required regardless of personal mood.  Self-discipline is the foundation of good relationship because without self-discipline you will be rude, insensitive and unfair to other people.

Mike Tyson, an American boxer, says, Without discipline, no matter how good you are, you are nothing!

In short, a good leader is P-R-O-U-D. If you have these qualities as a leader, you will be loved and respected by your people.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

In his book, Developing the Leader Within You, John Maxwell says, A leader’s main responsibility is developing others to do the work. In order to be an effective people developer, a leader must first know the names of his people, especially if he is new to them and the people he is handling are 400 or more.

When I was new to my present regional office, I required the employees to wear their identification cards around their necks so that I will know their names.  But later on, I feel awkward looking at their IDs everytime we meet.  I feel more comfortable looking at their faces, seeing them eye to eye, smiling and greeting them; Hi, Hello, Good Morning/Afternoon or How are you?

I always carry my digital camera in my bag wherever I go.  This tool has helped me a lot in my desire to be a people person and be a good leader.  Whenever there are meetings, conferences, seminars and special occasions, I request someone to capture the events for me.  I also take pictures during my inspection and other official trips.

A pose with some employees.

Pictures keep the memories alive but they have done more use to me as the head of office.  I store the pictures in the laptop, make folders of each event and indicate names of people on it through the help of my executive assistant and other employees.

Now that I know how to use some applications of the famous social networking site, the Facebook, identifying people became a lot easier because I could now tag people in the pictures.  I find time to look at them whenever I get hold of my laptop so that I can call them by names everytime we meet.  People feel worthwhile and important if you care to know their names.

Being a good leader does not happen overnight and I know that through my digital camera, I have taken a step towards my desire.

I know you also have some good uses of your digital camera and I’m glad if you could share your list with us by leaving your  comments below this article.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

Efficient operation in any business depends upon cooperation among managers.  If you ponder on it, you’ll see why it’s essential to get along with your peers.  You don’t have to be close friends with all of them, but you should at least make it easy for them to lend a hand to you whenever it is necessary.

Managers are socializing with each other.

Here are the four don’ts that you must observe to deserve cooperation from other managers in your company:

1.  Don’t provoke.  Be careful in offering advice and criticism.  Remember that other managers also have power and they are proud of their competence and privileges.

2.  Don’t interfere. Don’t give advice until you are asked.

Giving unsolicited advice might offend them.

3.  Don’t criticize in public. Even if you think he is wrong, don’t sound off in front of other managers and workers.  Tell him in private, give him a chance to save face, and you’ll get much more cooperation.

4.  Don’t certainly assume that he’s wrong. If you see that he has done something which is different from yours, don’t jump to conclusion that he is wrong.  Any probable reason is that you may be the one who is wrong.  As a manager, he may also be able to evaluate and improve his actions for the good of the company.

You might have your own list and I’m glad if you could share it with us by leaving your comments below this article.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

In my previous article, I emphasize that your secretary can make or break you. Your secretary is the extension of your hands and feet in just getting all the things done that you can’t take time “mechanically” to do yourself.

Here are the five ways to manage your secretary, for you to operate at peak performance:

1.  Your secretary must be specially selected by you. He or she must be specially or carefully selected by you to suit your temperament.

However, if you are in government offices, whenever you are assigned to your new office, you usually inherit the secretary of your predecessor.  So, it takes a lot of patience and perseverance to adjust to each other.

2.  Establish warm and friendly relation with your secretary. Although a majority of you are aloof at some people, you must have a harmonious working relationship with your secretary in order to perform effectively.

3.  Keep your secretary informed. As anticipated, he or she will be handling confidential information, it’s important to stress to your secretary the need for a tight lip.  It is quite futile, however, to anticipate him or her to assist in the management of your office without being aware of what they need to know to get the job done.

4.  Know what your secretary is doing. This is one of your basic requirements in using a secretary.

5.  Make your secretary adapt to you. The main requirement of a secretary is that he or she be flexible in adapting his or her work habits to those of the executive.  In other words, a good secretary requires the personality of a chameleon.

I know you have also some ways in your list and I will be glad to read your thoughts by leaving your comments below this post.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

As an executive, you must know what to look for during your inspections to offices, plants or operations area.  Since you are possibly going to be there only for a few days or hours, you can’t hope to learn everything and see everything that could be seen.

As a smart inspector, you will meddle into the operations more promptly to find the things swept under the rug.   Here are the four useful tips in searching for the vital things   during personal inspections, using them as signs of things unseen:

1. Determine if the people who are supposed to know have the answers.

Most of the time, the Operations Chief or the one in-charge of the area escorts you during your inspection tour.  The tour can also be the chance for a quiet but systematic quiz of the local boss, using items and events as they occur to provoke answers.  Ask the local boss questions to check if he is on top of the job.

An executive is asking questions to in-charge of office inspected.

2.  Determine if the easily controllable things are under control.

Each operation or job has certain parts which are easily controlled by the manager who is abreast of things.  Except for some circumstances, housekeeping and carelessness are evidences of lack of discipline and control over the actions of employees.  At this point, you can begin to turn attention to the management of the place.

3.  Determine if the surface is the representative of what lies beneath.

Explore beneath the surface, in one or two instances, to discover any evidence of “glossing over” of poor conditions.

4.  Determine if the inspection check out with other facts.

Before the inspection tour, it’s a wise plan to get some basic facts about the place.  Some of the figures might include employee relations, morale, expenditures, revenue, complaints and so on.  If an item is showing up very good or very bad in these figures, this is a hint as to where to look during your inspection trip.

These are my tips and I know there are still many others in your list.  I invite you to share your list with everyone by leaving your comments below this post.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

I felt sad of the news that Jim Rohn died of pulmonary fibrosis last December 5, 2009.  Jim Rohn is one of my favorite motivational authors and speakers.  For eight years, I have been a subscriber to his newsletter and learned a lot from him.  His ideas and teachings have helped make me a better person.

Pensively, I scanned and reread some of his articles, and the one on “Evaluating your Associations” has attracted me.  This is because of the influence associations have in our life.  People around us help mold our personality.

Jim Rohn wrote: “Indeed, the influence of those around us is so powerful! Many times we don’t even realize we’re being strongly affected because influences generally develop over an extended period of time.

Peer pressure is an especially powerful force because it is so subtle. If you’re around people who spend all they make, chances are excellent that you’ll spend all you make. If you are around people who go to more ball games than concerts, chances are excellent that you’ll do the same thing. If you are around people who don’t read, chances are excellent that you won’t read. People can keep nudging us off course a little at a time, until finally, we find ourselves asking, “How did I get here?” Those subtle influences need to be studied carefully if we really want our lives to turn out the way we’ve planned.”

Jim Rohn gave us these three key questions to ask ourselves to help us make better analysis of our current associations:

First Question: “Who am I around?” Make a mental note of the people with whom you most often associate. You’ve got to evaluate everybody who is able to influence you in any way.

Second question: “What are these associations doing to me?” That’s a major question to ask. What have they got me doing? What have they got me listening to? What have they got me reading? Where have they got me going? What do they have me thinking? How have they got me talking? How have they got me feeling? What have they got me saying? You’ve got to make a serious study of how others are influencing you, both negatively and positively.

Third question: “Is that okay?” Maybe everyone you associate with has been a positive, energizing influence. Then again, maybe there are some bad apples in the bunch. All I’m suggesting here is that you take a close and objective look. Everything is worth a second look, especially the power of influence. Both will take you somewhere, but only one will take you in the direction you need to go.

Jim Rohn further wrote:

“You’ve got to keep checking to find out whether your associations are tipping the scales toward the positive or toward the negative. Ignorance is never the best policy. Finding out is the best policy.

It’s easy to let influence shape our lives, to let associations determine our direction, to let pressures overwhelm us, and to let tides take us. The big question is: Are we letting ourselves become what we wish to become?”

Let us thank Mr. Jim Rohn for sharing with us this great article.  Let us thank him for guiding us to the right path through his writings and teachings.

Jim fondly closed his programs with the following sentiments: “I go with you in all the experience that we’ve had. But I promise you this as we leave here: I will not leave you behind. I’ll take you with me in my thoughts and in my heart.”

Likewise, wherever he is, Jim Rohn is always in our thoughts and hearts.

Reproduced with permission from Jim Rohn’s Weekly E-zine. To subscribe, go to www.JimRohn.com

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

In the book, Creating Confidence, Rex Johnson and David Swindley define self-esteem as the feeling of worth you have about yourself; the value you place on you.  Like oxygen or electricity, you can’t see, hear, taste or smell it, but you know when it’s not there.

Lack of self-esteem means you feel yourself worthless and valueless.  It is important that we know who among our associates or co-workers lack self-esteem so that we know how to deal with them and help them.  This deficiency can cause low motivation, low energy levels, low physical activity and poor relationship with people.

Mistakably, we think that loud, arrogant people have high self-esteem and quiet people have not.  Generally, the most confident people are quiet about their achievements, get on with their lives, doing as they please and enjoying themselves.  Still waters run deep!

According to psychotherapists Rex Johnson and David Swindley, many desperately try to cover up their lack of self-esteem, but a well-tuned observer can spot the truth quite easily.

Here are the ten behavior patterns resorted to by people to hide a lack of self-esteem:

1.  The Critic

He is fond of criticizing and belittling people, especially those who are more successful than him; an unhappy way to justify himself.  He is unable to come up with constructive suggestion or positive action of his own.

2,  The Shrinking Violet

He avoids the limelight and shrinks into the background, convinced that he’s not worth anyone’s attention.  He could not accept a compliment because he’s spent many years believing he is inadequate.

3.  The Complainer

He can’t stop himself complaining, get great pleasure from it, and take every opportunity to practice his art.  Whatever happens, he’s not happy.

4.  The Addict

Eating disorders, phobias and addictive habits such as anorexia, bulimia, smoking and alcoholism are usually behaviors of a person who lack self-esteem.

5.  The Mouse

He is afraid to expose his true feelings because he cannot face possible rejection.  He creeps around like a mouse, too timid to express an opinion.  He avoids complaining even when he has every reason to do so.

6.  The Sheep

He follows the herd in order to be accepted into certain circles or groups.  He doesn’t trust his own individuality enough to go his own way.

7.  The Big Mouth

On the face of it, he is the opposite of the mouse.  He cannot stop talking, and this behavior comes in two categories.  The first is worried that he won’t get another chance to say his piece; once he engages you in conversation it is hard to get away.  The second is a habitual braggart, with little regard for truth.  He boasts and promises on anything he could not afford to fulfill.

8.  The Put-Down Expert

He has a quick insult, a barbed comment for everybody who crossed his path.  He thinks the only way he could impress is by using his sharp cleverness to put others down.

9.  The Begrudger

He is the jealous individual who feels that anyone who has something he wants doesn’t really deserve it.  Through jealousy, he dislikes people who are successful.  He doesn’t have the sufficient self-confidence to be able to say ‘Well done, I’m pleased for you,’ and mean it.

10.  The Blamer

He is always looking for scapegoats.  If something goes wrong, it’s somebody else’s fault.  He always finds someone to be blamed for any wrongdoings or failures even if he knows that he is responsible for his own actions.

I know there are literally hundreds of behavior patterns and I invite you to share your own list by leaving your comments below this post.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

My previous article talks on the importance of the secretary to the executive.  Realizing this significance, I find it appropriate to list down these tips on how the secretary shall handle the mail and paperwork with efficiency.

1. Opens and Sorts  Incoming Mail

The secretary shall read diligently all incoming mail. Mail, such as routinary reports and other documents which do not require decision,  shall be immediately endorsed to offices concerned.

Mail received and endorsed shall be accurately recorded by the secretary and signed by the endorsee or his or her receiving clerk.  This is to facilitate tracing of documents.

Mail which need the decision or approval by the executive shall be placed under the “IN” basket items.

2.  Handles and analyzes  “IN” basket items

Items that could not be handled with confidence could be carefully organized, prioritized, and brought to the executive with a recommendation or a note or a previous communication on the issue which serves as a guide to the executive on the action to be taken on the item.

This requires that the secretary shall keep himself or herself abreast of the happenings in the office.  He or she shall keep a journal of the daily office activities, which he or she or the executive could glance from time to time.

3.  Handles routine inquiries

The secretary shall equip himself or herself all the basic data in the office which the clients shall initially need.  For example, he or she shall have ready data on the prices of products and services, number and location of branches, the contact information for each branch and other basic data.

He or she shall act with courtesy and politeness in dealing with clients and employees.

4. Reviews communications, reports and other documents which require signature of the executive

The secretary shall make a review and preliminary correction of the communications before bringing them to the executive.  He or she shall check the grammatical errors and whether the subject and body of the letter or memorandum jibe with each other.

A secretary reviews a paper before bringing to the executive.

So it is important that the secretary shall be focused on his or her job and has a good command of the English language.  There are many English books which the secretary may use for his or her review of the vocabulary and grammar.  One good book to use as reference is English for Business by Stewart, Lanham and Zimmer.

He or she shall meticulously review reports and other documents before bringing them to the executive for signature or approval.  He or she shall see to it that all other signatures are complete and in order.

5. Serves as confidential journalist and caretaker of most critical secrets in the corporate body

This one is added by my good friend and former classmate, Steve Hermosisima. Steve is a  Licensed TourGuide/Conductor atOldTown TrolleyTours in the USA.

It is necessary that the secretary is discreet, cautious, trustworthy and loyal to the company.

If these tips are followed, the busy executive shall be relieved of the paperwork and effectively perform his or her planning and decision-making function.

If you have any other tips to include in this list, I shall be very glad if you write them down by leaving your comments below this article.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

As a leader, how well do you know your people?  How well do you know their desires, values and dreams?

A leader must influence and empower his or her people.   Influence and empowerment is more effective if the leader loves and relates to his or her people.  Anybody who loves or relates to someone must know him or her as a whole person.

We hear a leader saying to his or her people, “ I’m only interested on what you do in the workplace.  I don’t care what you are or on what you do outside the office.”

If the leader focuses only on the actions or activities of his or her people at the workplace, he or she tends to be judgmental or condemnatory.

Each one has his or her own story, history, behavior, attitudes and habits.  If a leader knows how his or her people got where they are or who they are, he or she is less likely to condemn and more likely to understand and love them.

A leader also needs to know who his or her people can become so that he or she can help develop their career .

During my first assignment as a Postal Regional Director, I asked for the 201 files of my management staff and studied their personal data.

Later on, I realized that actual face to face interaction is more effective than studying the 201 files.  I want to have an eye to eye contact with my staff.

I let some of the employees join with me during my inspection trips, at the restaurants, at the malls and other places.  Through casual conversations, I came to know about their family, educational background, experiences and some of their stories.  In these bonding, I listen more than talk because I want to know them as a whole person.

I don’t appreciate an employee who talk much of other people when we are together because I’m interested to know about him or her more than anybody else.

There was one time when an employee invited me to see a movie with her.  I’m not really fond of seeing movies, but I joined with her to know her more.  It was a great bonding, a very unforgettable one.

A leader must invest in the relationship in order to know people.

In his book, The Power Principle, Dr. Blaine Lee says:

“The better we know who they are, the better we can serve them and help them become what they are capable of becoming.  We must pay a price to know them, but the potential rewards are immense. And when we love them, we can influence them in ways that may last their entire lives.”

Dr. Lee also suggests words to say to ourselves to check for knowledge of people:

Do I understand what they want?

Do I know them?  How well?

Can I see the whole person?

Do I know this person outside of this situation or task?

Have I “done my homework” on them as well as on what I want them to do?

How will do I really see them?

Am I willing to pay the price to know them?

.