Category Archives: attitude

DEALING WITH TOXIC EMPLOYEES IN THE WORKPLACE

As a former Director, one of my concerns in the workplace was dealing with toxic people.

According to Dr. Daniel D. Elash, a Clinical Psychologist, toxic people are those whose attitudes, perspectives, or habits disrupt the organization’s peace of mind. Some of them have habits and attitudes that disrupt morale, work flow, and interpersonal harmony.

For the office to be productive, toxic people must not have been hired in the workplace, but they were already around before an Area or Regional Director assumes office in the area.  Anyway, they are some of the challenges of the top officials and dealing with them is an amazing experience.  Although employees may have similar skills, knowledge and experiences, but they have different characters, attitudes and habits.

Who are these toxic employees?

Victims. These are employees who chronically feel that life’s bumps and bruises are aimed specifically at them. They start the day’s work talking about their problems and expect special consideration from their co-employees until the latter feel used when these toxic employees (victims) do not move on or get better.

Self-absorbed and selfish employees see the world as all about them.  These people seek attention, take credit for other peoples’ work, and are envious of what others get or have. Their attitude and  behaviors, grate on peers and infuriate people with authority in the organization.

Apathetic employees are those that display little ambition to advance or improve.  They come to work to get the paycheck without much regard for the quality of their efforts. They fail in multi-tasking because they always answer that they don’t know how to do the job or say “it’s not my job”.

How to deal with them?

Of course talking to them is difficult in the beginning but we have to, to understand the behaviour.

Give concrete, specific and honest feedback on the effect of their behaviour to their co-workers and the organization and offer the opportunity to change to have positive impact in the workplace.

If possible, assign them to offices where they could not do more harm and be more productive.

These actions take a lot of time and study and sometimes drastic action might be resorted to if the employee is really offensive and adamant to change to protect the organization.

Do you have employees like this in your office? How did you deal with them? Please write your comments below.

There is no Glory Without Sacrifice

“There is no Glory Without Sacrifice”, this was the theme during one of our Flag Raising Ceremonies last month.

This is an adage that means if ever we want to do or complete something in life there is always something that would be hard to do in order to get there. Someone said that “sacrifice” means forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of one considered to have a greater value or claim.

This means that there is something that we must give up in order to be successful or triumphant. For example, when I started blogging, I gave up my time for workouts at the gym during off-hours and bonding with family on weekends in order to read books and other resource materials to write articles for my blog posts.

I realized that this isn’t proper, so I decided to temporarily stop blogging for more than two months and give time to the activities which I had to give up in favor of blogging. At least, that realization and short rest had taught me to balance and manage my time well.

Bonding time with kids.

I remember the sacrifices I made to be where I am now. To finish my studies with flying colors, I had to give up some of my sleeping hours, bonding time with family and friends and perhaps even good health in order to burn the midnight candle.

Sometimes, people sacrifice family time and even time for self, friendship and good health in order to get the desired job promotion, dream house or success in their endeavors.

How about you, what sacrifices have you made to be successful or triumphant?

I’m inviting you give  your list by leaving your comments below this article.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

Lead with Patience

You probably became the person you are today because somebody had patience with you at some critical points in your life…When you are patient with a person, you make a long-term investment in them.- Blaine Lee

On November 25, 2009, I posted an article titled Leaders Pay Attention to the Details. It stressed that there are projects which fail due to the leader’s failure to be attentive to details.

Most projects and problems encountered by us are not as simple as they seem.  It needs patience to dig into the details of each task and issue.  Much more, it takes a lot of patience to deal with the people doing the task or causing the issue –  people of varied attitude, work habits and experiences.

We develop the people we lead because people is the life of the organization .  We have to study the details of the project or of the job to help our people improve their performance. We could not teach what we don’t know.  Helping people grow requires patience.  We don’t keep digging up a  plant to know how it’s growing.

A Director is discussing the details of the job with her employees.

When I was  new in supervising people, I was so impatient with the slow learners,  slow workers and those who always commit mistakes.  I wanted everyone to be efficient and high achievers to meet and even exceed our goals.  But, I realized that my impatience has affected our relationship and didn’t motivate them to do better. Later on, I learned to be a good coach to them and most of them thanked me for the learnings they got from me.

In his book, The Power Principle: Influence with Honor, Blaine Lee suggests the following words to say to ourselves to check for patience:

Are their efforts acceptable as a place to start?

Must it really be done now?  This way?

Are the deadlines real?

Where are the pressures coming from?

Are the pressures real?

Is this good enough for now?

Are they good enough for now?

Am I open to their opinions?

How do you demonstrate patience to your people and to your peers?  Please let me hear from you by leaving your comments below this article.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

Leaders Must Use Mistakes at Work to Advantage

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future. Plutarch

As a leader, one of the challenges you must face in the workplace is handling mistakes, especially those of your people because control over others is not as easy as control over yourself.

When you say to your people, “Don’t commit any mistake in your job, otherwise you will suffer the consequences if it will happen,” , your people will be extra careful in doing the task. But, he might not take the initiative to perform beyond his functions, such as improvement activities, for fear of committing mistakes. People who fear mistakes, says Molly Napier, make no progress.

Encourage your people to tell you immediately if mistakes occur so that they could be corrected immediately. Encourage them to admit their mistakes.  Forgive them for their mistakes, let them learn lessons from them and  resolve not to commit the same mistakes again. Stephen Covey says: People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgment.  But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.

At work, I always tell my people to ask for some clarifications, if instructions are not clear to minimize mistakes,  because they involve costs to the company in terms of time, money and energy.  They must not pretend that they know everything. Ask, ask, ask!

Stop blamestorming. John Wooden says, A man may make mistakes, but he isn’t a failure until he starts blaming someone else.

While you must assure your people that making mistakes is no cause for worry and trembling, never allow them to believe that mistakes themselves are  “okay.” Otherwise, mistakes become a habit.

Face mistakes at work and create a task force composed of the best brains you have available to focus on and recommend solutions to the problem.  Some of the best systems and procedures were formulated and implemented out of the lessons learned from mistakes.

You might also some ideas in your mind and I’m inviting you to share them to us by leaving your comments below this article.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes

101 Best Motivational Quotes

Leaders need to be motivated everyday in order to fuel their enthusiasm to achieve their goals and exceed their performance targets efficiently and effectively.

This is my choice of the 101 best motivational quotes from the top writers and speakers.

Anthony Robbins

1.  A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.

2.  How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?

3.  I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.

4.  I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.

5.  Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers.

Brian Tracy

6.  Your greatest asset is your earning ability. Your greatest resource is your time.

7.  You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.

8.  Whatever you believe with feeling becomes your reality.

9.  All successful people men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.

10.  Communication is a skill that you can learn. It’s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you’re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of evry part of your life.

Robert Kiyosaki

11.  When people are lame, they love to blame.

12.  The size of your success is measured by the strength of your desire; the size of your dream; and how you handle disappointment along the way.

13.  A lot of people are afraid to tell the truth, to say no. That’s where toughness comes into play. Toughness is not being a bully. It’s having backbone.

14.  If you want to go somewhere, it is best to find someone who has already been there.

Deepak Chopra

15.  There are no extra pieces in the universe. Everyone is here because he or she has a place to fill, and every piece must fit itself into the big jigsaw puzzle.

16.  The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers.

17.  The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years.

18.  If you and I are having a single thought of violence or hatred against anyone in the world at this moment, we are contributing to the wounding of the world.

19.  Our thinking and our behaviour are always in anticipation of a response. It is therefore fear-based.

20.  To think is to practice brain chemistry.

Suze Orman

21.  If the boss is a jerk, get over it. First of all, don’t you think there’s a good chance that your boss’s boss knows what’s going on? If so, just keep your head down and do the work. Usually, if you put in maximum effort and produce excellent results, someone in the company is going to take notice. Either you will get promoted or your jerky boss will get the heave-ho. It happens all the time.

22.  A big part of financial freedom is having your heart and mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life.

23.  Try handling problems in the office as dispassionately as you can and I guarantee you will have a better time of it; not least because when you bring emotion into the conversation, you furnish your colleagues with an easy “out” for dismissing you. If you are able to strip out the emotion, however, people have to deal with you based on the facts.

24.  Whenever you’re confronted with a tough work situation, stop for a second and try to honestly answer this question: Am I approaching this emotionally or am I approaching this professionally?

Stephen Covey

25.  Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly.

26.  While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose the consequences of our actions.

27.  We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey.

28.  Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it / immediately.

29.  We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind.

30.  Until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise.”

Jim Rohn

31.  When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it.

32.  You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.

33.  You don’t get paid for the hour. You get paid for the value you bring to the hour.

34.  Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well.

35.  If you go to work on your goals, your goals will go to work on you. If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. Whatever good things we build end up building us.

Zig Ziglar

36.  Every choice you make has an end result.

37.  Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.

38.  If you wait until all the lights are “green” before you leave home, you’ll never get started on your trip to the top.

39.  If you want to reach a goal, you must ‘see the reaching’ in your own mind before you actually arrive at your goal.

40.  People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.

Jack Canfield

41.  People who ask confidently get more than those who are hesitant and uncertain. When you’ve figured out what you want to ask for, do it with certainty, boldness and confidence.

42.  One of the things that may get in the way of people being lifelong learners is that they’re not in touch with their passion. If you’re passionate about what it is you do, then you’re going to be looking for everything you can to get better at it.

43.  Some people fold after making one timid request. They quit too soon. Keep asking until you find the answers. In sales there are usually four or five “no’s” before you get a “yes.”

44.  Success depends on getting good at saying no without feeling guilty. You cannot get ahead with your own goals if you are always saying yes to someone else’s projects. You can only get ahead with your desired lifestyle if you are focused on the things that will produce that lifestyle.

45.  As you begin to take action toward the fulfillment of your goals and dreams, you must realize that not every action will be perfect. Not every action will produce the desired result. Not every action will work. Making mistakes, getting it almost right, and experimenting to see what happens are all part of the process of eventually getting it right.

Mark Victor Hansen

46.  Big goals get big results. No goals gets no results or somebody else’s results.

47.  Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight.

48.  Ideas attract money, time, talents, skills, energy and other complementary ideas that will bring them into reality.

49.  Improve your business, your life, your relationships, your finances and your health. When you do the whole world improves.

50.  You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands – your own.

Dale Carnegie

51.  You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

52.  If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.

53.  You’ll never achieve real success unless you like what you’re doing.

54.  Flaming enthusiasm backed by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success.

55.  There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look,
what we say, and how we say it.

Joe Vitale

56.  Finally, what I really want is to be happy in this moment, where the magic and miracles happen. Stay in the moment and all gifts are added as you breathe and take inspired action.

57.  It’s really important that you feel good. Because this feeling good is what goes out as a signal into the universe and starts to attract more of itself to you. So the more you can feel good, the more you will attract the things that help you feel good and that will keep bringing you up higher and higher.

58.  Start each day off on the right foot.

59.  Thoughts are sending out that magnetic signal that is drawing the parallel back to you.

60.  The thing is, we have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging, to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want. Until we do, we are hamsters in a cage chasing our own tails and wondering why we aren’t getting the results we seek.

Norman Vincent Peale

61.  Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.

62.  Live your life and forget your age.

63.  Change your thoughts and you change your world.

64.  How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself – so always think positively.

65.  Those who are fired with an enthusiastic idea and who allow it to take hold and dominate their thoughts find that new worlds open for them. As long as enthusiasm holds out, so will new opportunities.

Jeffrey Gitomer

66.  Obstacles can’t stop you. Problems can’t stop you. Most of all other people can’t stop you. Only you can stop you.

67.  Your job is to meet the right people and read the right books.

68.  When you begin to give value to the world, somehow the people you affect will find a way to tell you. Even if it takes a couple of years.

69.  The key is not to “call the decision maker.” The key is to “have the decision maker call you.”
Napoleon Hill

70.  The best job goes to the person who can get it done without passing the buck or coming back with excuses.

71.  Action is the real measure of intelligence.

72.  Do not wait; the time will never be ”just right.” Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.

73.  The world has the habit of making room for the man whose actions show that he knows where he is going.

74.  Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.

75.  What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.

Leo Buscaglia

76.  It’s not enough to have lived. We should be determined to live for something.

77.  Love is always changing and unless we stay aware and change with it, it eludes us.

78.  To live in love is to live in life, and to live in life is to live in love.

79.  Life is our greatest possession and love its greatest affirmation.

80.  We are all born with God-given, unique traits and skills. But as with all possibilities they will remain unrealized unless they are developed, nurtured and put into practice.

Og Mandino

81.  Always do your best. What you plant now, you will harvest later.

82.  Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.

83.  I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.

84.  The victory of success is half won when one gains the habit of setting goals and achieving them. Even the most tedious chore will become endurable as you parade through each day convinced that every task, no matter how menial or boring, brings you closer to fulfilling your dreams.

85.  The only people who never fail are those who never try.

Ken Blanchard

86.  Don’t quack like a duck, soar like an eagle.

87.  People who produce good results feel good about themselves.

88.  The best way to teach people is by telling a story.

Earl Nightingale

89.  Creativity is a natural extension of our enthusiasm.

90.  People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going.

91.  All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination.

92.  Everything begins with an idea.

93.  Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.

Robert Allen

94.  You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

95.  Don’t let the opinions of the average man sway you. Dream, and he thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. He simply doesn’t understand.

96.  The future you see is the future you get.

97.  If service is the rent you pay for your existence on this earth, are you behind in your rent?

98.  Fear melts when you take action towards a goal you really want.

Les Brown

99.  Life takes on meaning when you become motivated, set goals and charge after them in an unstoppable manner.

100.  If you fall, fall on your back. If you can look up, you can get up.
101.  Don’t let someone else’s opinion of you become your reality.

I hope this list has inspired you and I’m happy if you could share your favorites by leaving your comments below this post.

Your friend,

Nimia Acebes